Kindness towards yourself is a self healing practice

Today is a perfect day to begin to be kind to yourself.

Especially if you specialize in self criticism, in which nothing you do is good enough for you, it’s good to remember that you are a human being. An added bonus is that when you choose to be nice to yourself, you are teaching others how you want to be treated. You can decide to give yourself a break, and to give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Mistakes are how we learn, and sometimes we unconsciously make big ones in order to get to a new place within ourselves. If you get stuck in having been imperfect enough to make a mistake in the first place, that would be a bigger mistake. Others may praise you and tell you how much they appreciate and value your contribution, but if you don’t know your value for yourself, no words from anyone else can convince you of it.

It’s a good idea to find neutrality with both your fans and detractors. Thank them all! But don’t get stuck in either the praise or the criticism. If you take them too seriously, it will get in the way of you doing your own true work. Loving yourself is a good place to begin: as you already are, and no matter what you have accomplished or screwed up.

Just do it. It will be the single most important choice you can make. Doing this requires patience, amusement, forgiveness, and faith. It will bring you peace. You don’t have to measure yourself against anyone else’s standards. Your own are what count.

You will need to let go of any desire to be perfect.

Perfection is a dull, static state, and not much fun anyway. Remember the stories and movies that inspired you in which the hero or heroine totally screws up, is painfully human, sometimes a real jerk, yet still manages to move forward? The hero’s journey is far from perfect. This is why it rings true. The simple act of accepting yourself as you are, while also working toward being who and how you want to be, is a much easier thing to do than constantly wishing things had been different, or you had done something differently.

If you still have your energy caught in those old situations, it’s not yet available to create the new reality you want. Only you can decide to release your energy from the past and allow yourself to be in a space of healthy self love. It’s worth the work it takes.

“If we give our children sound self-love, they will be able to deal with whatever life puts before them.”  -bell hooks

©Kris Cahill

Image by Kris Cahill, taken at Descanso Gardens 2021