Validation is a vibration of energy that comes from within you
When you run the vibration of validation, others around you can feel it.
The people you want to have in your life are attracted to you because of this energy. As a vibration of energy, validation comes from within. Nobody else can make you feel this vibration, and nobody gets to decide whether you have this. You're the one who chooses validation for yourself.
This doesn't mean you have to prove you deserve it. Capitalism will try to make you believe that if you haven't achieved x or y, you don't get to be validated. You were taught that the marketplace is in charge of how good you get to feel about yourself.
Advertising wants you to compare yourself relentlessly to those who are having x, y, and z, and will do its best to convince you that you need to purchase its goods in order to have it yourself. That competition mentality asserts that there's only so much validation to go around, and therefore not everyone gets to have it. You cannot win this game because you didn't create the game. The game lies to you every time you play thinking you'll win this time.
Nobody else is in charge of whether or not you "get" to be validated.
Why not cut the middle man out of this equation and go right to yourself for the truth? If you're in the habit of depending on others to decide whether you have value, and for what, you won't find your truth. If you grew up in a household with invalidated people, you might have been taught that your worth is decided by others. You can get stuck trying to prove something you don't have to prove.
With this energy, you start to believe you'll earn validation by achieving a desired goal, reaching an outcome you worked for. But, unless you've decided you're okay no matter what status you achieve in the world, you won't find the inner peace that comes from knowing that you are enough. You don't have to deserve or earn feeling validated. This is your spirit's choice, and your spirit is powerful.
Validation cannot be purchased
Sometimes people chase validation, as if it's something 'out there' that they have to run after and acquire. People try to buy validation, racking up lots of credit card debt in their pursuit of this energy. 'Generation Wealth' is a documentary about the pursuit of wealth and status. It's really about validation, and the great lengths people will go to find this for themselves. Definitely watch this one, it's eye opening and healing too.
People will do a lot of things to raise their social status, believing that they will feel magically validated as a result. They buy followers on social media, believing that their large numbers of followers will make them appear more valuable to everyone else. Some folks suck up to others who they believe have the power to give them permission to climb the validation ladder, where they will magically one day find themselves fully validated.
Note: status and validation are not the same thing. Raising your status and chasing after status won't help you feel happy about who you are from within.
You cannot solve invalidation for others
Generally speaking, invalidated people who have too much power over others are dangerous. Bullies are not happy validated people. Those who need to punish everyone around them in order to control everyone in sight are deeply invalidated and out of touch with their own truth as beings.
This is because nothing they acquire, control, or do will fill the empty hole they feel within themselves. Some invalidated people isolate and control, because the illusion of control is how they think they have power.
If you grew up around this energy, you know this. An invalidated bully wants to demean others around him because he cannot have anyone who has their own space and is vibrating at validation in that space. The bully wants to take the validation others appear to have, believing that if he keeps knocking everyone around him down, he will finally achieve what he wants. He doesn't know what he wants. You cannot solve this. problem because you did not create it. Do your own work instead.
True validation comes from within
You can't buy validation from others, though you can receive it as a gift. You are the one in charge of doing the work required to have this vibration of energy working for you.
Invalidated people are often in pain. Maybe you have been there, and you know how this feels. This is something I've experienced in my life. Once I started learning about my own energy, and more importantly, that I didn't have to heal and solve all the pain and invalidation I saw around me, my life changed. I found my way to my own value, and I'm not giving it away to anyone else again.
I value the creators, the artists. The people who create art, music, books and stories, gardens, classes, healing, food, performances. Some of the creators I know help make peace possible between others, some are creating new ways of healing and being on earth.
If you can create things for others, if you know yourself to be capable of bringing healing and peace to earth, if you already understand that change is possible, you can find your way to your validation. The important thing is to want to have it for yourself.
©Kris Cahill
Image © Kyle Sterk at Unsplash
