Who or what are you trying to control?

Trying to control is key here, because that’s all you can really do with most beings and situations, try to have control.

When it comes down to it, you have no control over anything outside of yourself. It’s not your job to control anyone, though you may have agreed to do so. When you are doing this to others, you are also in their space, ie: invading them. When you try to control the actions of another, or the outcome of a situation, you are in danger of losing your own energy, and of forgetting that you have much more of an effect on the situation by staying in your own space.

Many of us have controlled in order to feel safe. However well intentioned we may have been, this doesn’t work so well as a tactic. We could fool ourselves into believing that we were safer by being in control. This is a cycle that never ends. Are you spending your energy in the pursuit of control?

A few ideas about why control becomes the go-to response:

• You feel responsible for everyone and everything that crosses your path in certain situations, so you try to control.

• You were punished when something didn’t go well, blamed for an outcome you had no control over, so now you try to control.

• You have been programmed from the time you were quite young, if only because all of the people around you were so out of control that someone had to be the grown-up. And you weren’t yet 3 years old at the time.

• You have a hard time letting go, and see it as some kind of failure, so you control.

• You have no separation between the thing you are trying to hold onto and yourself, so it’s painful to let go.

If you are trying to have control of yourself, however, that’s another matter.

A few energies that may help you to let go of control include: non-judgment, forgiveness, non-resistance, grounding yourself, getting to know yourself, honesty, trust, faith, and love. You are the one who has the power to choose any of this, in lieu of holding onto control that you don’t actually have to begin with.

By learning to let go, you can have your own energy back again, your precious and valuable healing energy. Once you have that back, you can use it to create more of what it is you do want to see happening around you and in your own life. It all begins within you.

• ©Kris Cahill
  Image on Unsplash