Do you have to choose between freedom and approval?

Are you torn between choosing to have what you want, and needing to have others approve of you?

When you don’t have the freedom to choose to create or have what you truly want, you might be giving up your space to fears that others won’t like you if you do the things you really want to do.

If you’re afraid you’ll anger someone or hurt their feelings if you change, you are allowing your need for their approval to control you. You cannot blame somebody else for this. It’s within your power to change it, not theirs.

If you’ve allowed others to have power over you, that again isn’t their problem to solve. It’s yours. If you need others to approve of you living your life the way you see fit, and if you won’t make a move without their permission, you have nobody else to blame when you don’t get what you want.

You don’t have to make your life a democracy in which everyone else gets a vote on what can happen in your life.

You may have been trying to be very nice, and to not create conflicts with others who think they know exactly who you are and what you should do. So, to keep the peace, you hold back, waiting for others to sign on to the idea of you having your own life.

Perhaps you spend a lot of your energy helping them out, and they just don’t know what they would do without you. You end up feeling guilty at the thought of not being there for everyone else, and your life becomes all about keeping it together for them.

Meanwhile, what you see is possible for you, and the things you want in your life, don’t go away. You have a conflict in your space between what you think you should do, and what you really want to do.

A good dose of truth within yourself will go far in helping you to change the patterns of not making your life your own.

By being honest with yourself, you can see yourself and your dreams more clearly. If you have no support for your dreams in your personal world, and are expected to give your energy away so that others can achieve theirs, you're in agreement to give your life over to others without concern for your own desires, needs, and self.

You can change this anytime you choose to do so.

When you decide that self approval and being happy with who you are means more to you than winning any illusory popularity contests, you’re well on the way to creating your life from a place of inner freedom. This is your true job in this lifetime.

©Kris Cahill
‘Junk Yard Sexy’ ©Tanakawho on Flickr