What do you say to yourself, and how do you say it?

Do you speak to yourself as if you trust and value you? Do you listen to your inner voice? Are you kind to yourself? Can you sing out loud, tell yourself jokes, and reassure the timid, scared parts of you that you’re okay? Or do you judge yourself for being less than you think you should be?

Are you even on speaking terms with yourself? Or do you go for long stretches without remembering that you have an inner voice? Do you tell yourself that you love you? Do you compliment yourself for doing something well, and thank yourself for being brave?

They’ve been doing it your whole life, letting you know who you are and how you fit in.

Are you really who, and how, others say you are? It’s not that anyone means you any harm by telling you these things. After all, you’ve probably done the same for others. It can be a great validation and comfort to be accepted into a group.

Belonging can help you feel safe, which is why it's so difficult to pull away from the group identity. You might even belong to a group you love to hate, yet can’t seem to step away from. You get sucked back in every time you try.

Nobody knows you better than you know yourself.

If someone tells you they know you better than you do, they are misinformed. They might be saying that they know who they want you to be, who you are 'supposed' to be, or who you want them to think you are. Meanwhile, the actual truth of who you are might be hidden and protected down deep, under a surface of demands, responsibilities, beliefs, agreements, and other people’s energy.

Your truth might be so well hidden that even you are having a hard time seeing it. You might not know yourself, the real you, at all.

Have you considered that following your heart is a gift to the rest of us?

If you’ve been of the mindset that taking care of yourself first, and listening to your own true desires is selfish and unrealistic, here’s some good news for you. When you listen to what you want and follow your own internal guidance system, you will create a happy and fulfilled life for yourself.

You'll be living in your own truth, and be able to become who you are here to be.

Is it you who gets to decide that you have value? Have you been waiting for others to see it first?

If you allow your value to be determined for you by the judgments or standards of others, you may want to rethink this choice. Yes, this is a choice, even if it’s an unconscious one.

Somewhere along the way, you gave up ownership of your self worth to someone or something else. Your family, society, teachers, culture, group, or even your friends might be the ones you allow to decide your value for you. If you haven’t been feeling good about yourself lately, and nobody around you is very validating to you, perhaps you need to reclaim your value for yourself.

What happens when you dive into the depths of yourself and find your authenticity?

When you get very honest about who you are right now, what changes for you? When you question what’s real and authentic for yourself, you choose to look deeper than the surface of things. You grow when you choose to follow your spirit’s truth. When you answer your own deepest questions truthfully, you’re willing to see clearly now, to drop your old illusions.

If you decide to travel on your journey, remember that the road ahead isn’t always paved, or even visible.

If you find yourself on such a road, that’s often a good sign. The road you are trying to find hasn’t been created yet, and it won’t be until you do it yourself. The route you need to take won’t always be obvious to you. Often there isn’t even a map. The road you find may not have any markings on it. You can travel for what feels like many miles without a clue as to where you actually are.

It’s your spirit that makes it possible for you to stand out, and be uniquely you.

If you thought it was the attention from others that made you stand out and be seen – as in how many fans you have, and how popular you are, you may want to check again. Your popularity in the outside world can be very separate from the truth of who you are, deep within.

There’s no other like you, you are one of a kind – and when you find the courage to be the unique you that you are, you can create your true life.

Has your heart been calling to you? Have you been listening, or have you blocked its calls?

Did you turn your heart’s volume down, put out a ‘do not disturb’ sign, or invalidated it as being unrealistic? Perhaps you’ve believed those who insist that the pursuit of career, money, status, and power are better choices than listening to one’s heart.

Have you gotten to the point where you can no longer ignore its message? That truth speaking from deep within your heart won’t be silenced. It’s telling you something is amiss, and that you are ignoring your deepest dreams.

One of the most important aspects of you as a being, is how you see yourself.

Your self image becomes your way of being in the world. How you see yourself matters to your life, and to your enjoyment of being you. Nobody else can convince you that you are worthy, or that it’s okay for you to have your life for yourself, if you don’t believe it too.

If you see yourself as capable, you’re more likely to reach out for something you want, and you’re more willing to take risks. When you have a present time positive self image, it’s easier to step out and be seen, and to shine.

“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Many years ago, a serious young man told me that after finishing school and beginning his work life, he realized he wanted to go back and get a different degree in something he found he had a real affinity for. In other words, he was finding his passion. I was happy for him, getting ready to cheer him on, and then…

Perfection isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

There’s nothing wrong with aiming for perfection or wanting to be excellent. The desire to get things right isn’t a harmful one, not in the least.

Being your best self means that you’re willing to do the work you need to do to embellish yourself. It's validating and satisfying to know that you did your best. It’s helpful to have a meaningful goal to work towards. It's really fun to grow.